March 2011
Although March is usually a long month, with it's 31 days, this year it seemed especially long.
Maybe it was because I was accomplishing so much in March, that every time I looked at the calender I expected it to be over. This March, March of 2011... would neeeever end!
At the top of the month I met a great guy. I added a new business to my list of hobbies. I also discovered that I enjoyed watching and documenting my 8 year old play basketball.
The first week was very full, life changing, and definitely rewarding.
Then sometime around the middle of the month I chose some great March Madness brackets, with a little help from great-guy. My new side-business hobby thingy was going well, I even signed up a new recruit. My daughter had her last basketball game and I got a ton of great pictures ...aaand I panicked. Why did I panic? I couldn't tell you. There was absolutely nothing wrong in my life. Maybe that's why. Dating a great-guy, new hobby, lots of photos of daughter, bills paid, new shoes... and I panic. Now, it is only in hindsight that I know I was panicking. The hyper irreverent behavior at work, pushy relationship girly stuff, dumping coffee on my fancy-pants camera--all signs of panic.
Why did I do all of this? why? Tell me why every time I looked up at the stink'n calender it was still March?!
Needless to say things cooled off with great-guy. I made sure of that. I wouldn't want anything to unfold naturally. Besides, I'm pretty sure he was okay with letting me go, which is better to find out sooner than later. My Scentsy hobby cooled down too. No orders for two weeks.
Around March 25th I began to come back to my senses. It was in part to me doing so well in the office March Madness competition and in part to me realizing that I can be happy and be satisfied. I just had forgotten for 25 days. It is okay to take life day to day. I don't have to always sweat tomorrow. If life seems perfect, I can let it be. No other shoe to drop, or 'sign' to analyze.
Then the bottom of the month rears it's ugly head. While I am sick, home from work, and the first two consecutive sunny days happen. So now I have time on my hands to over-think fueled by healing sunshine. I have two choices, try to push life in the direction I think it should go, or absolutely enjoy the day. I learned that I cannot always do both. Some days are for driving the boat, aaaand some days are for putting your feet in the water.
By choosing to just put my feet in the water, I may have accomplished more growth in March 2011 then I did in all of 2010.
So now I am writing on April 1st, 2011. I did pretty good with my brackets. I got my camera all cleaned up, I have two Scentsy parties booked.... my daughters are healthy, my bills are paid. I will not go 'round that March Mountain again. I have learned my lesson.
I will let the good things be good.
